Avoidance can be a most insidious and destructive emotion. It is a hidden barrier that affects all human beings.

So much energy is spent avoiding things we don’t prefer, don’t want to address, and don’t want to feel. It is the human condition, and affects every one of us. Robert Pirsig said it must succinctly in his seminal work: Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: “The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth,’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.” 

The reasons for avoidance has as its basis personal protection, and minimizing pain. Sigmund Freud believed that as human beings we seek to avoid pain and move toward pleasure. Really who wants pain? No one. We employ avoidance as a natural defense. Avoidance in the long run can lead to long term and chronic illness, fatigue, and mental health issues. As Bessel Van der Kolk underlined in his book: “The Body Keeps the Score”, the body really does keep the score, and avoidance defenses are at the core of it. Individuals who experience Trauma, live with the insidious reminder that in order to survive, they have to avoid.

How do you move through the haze of avoidance? The path ahead means identifying the emotions that are blocking you. It means identifying “what” you don’t want to face. Reducing the blocking emotions of avoidance includes:

1. Identifying the emotion- whether it is fear, the bad feelings, or the catastrophic thinking.
   
2. Reducing the avoidance emotion. Utilizing therapy, professional help. You have to reduce your body’s tendency to employ your fear mechanisms.

Take the next steps:

1. Desensitize (reduce) the fear, by taking small steps toward embracing aspects of the issue, by behaving in a way that faces the avoidance issue.
   
2. Problem Solve: Identify the next steps or alternative actions to gradually move through what you’re avoiding. Sometimes therapy or other self help resources or friends are important accountability structures. Share the worry.
   
3. Take your time. Once you begin to work through the avoidance, the “haze” will clear, and you will notice your confidence and emotions improve.