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A friend once said to me: “As things change, sometimes people move toward you, and sometimes they move away from you.”

As we develop, we form new interests.  As we form new relationships, new and different patterns of life take hold.  Some good, and some create a distraction. Over time some relationships shift, and we find find ourselves moved away from the aspects that brought us confidence in ourselves.

Making an exercise in the rediscovery of our roots, can be a powerful direction that brings us back to more effectiveness, renews our sense of well being, and helps us cope better with life challenges.

Here are some of the ways, connecting with our roots can make a difference in our lives:

1. We connect with important past relationships that were positive and played a part in our development. Often times the busyness of life takes us away from people that contributed a lot to who we are today.
2. It helps us reconnect with things that worked for us in the past.
3. We find new energy from things that brought richness in our past.
4. We can solve current difficulties using “tried and true” approaches, that we have abandoned at some point.

Ways to connect with our roots:

• Call up a friend or associate you haven’t seen or talked to for some time.  You might be surprised how good it makes you feel.
• Engage a rewarding hobby that enriched your life in the past.
• Remember how you solved problems before.  Use those techniques again.
• Write and reflect on your problems.  Remember what really helped you get through.

The Rewards are there…Rediscover something that you “moved away from.” Locate what meant a lot to you in the past and reengage it.  Reexperience some of the joys it brought you, and learn to cope with existing problems, using things that worked in the past.

  
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Sometimes going through the same path can seem unappealing.  Repetition is mind-numbing at times.  Reframing your path as tenacity and resilience is a fresh way to look at your efforts.

Your efforts have a meaning if they are important to you.

When repetition is unproductive:

1. When the efforts don’t contribute to something higher than yourself 
2. When they don’t align with what you see as important 
3. Mis-directed meetings 
4. When your heart is not in it
5. No results…

Ways to make your behaviors and actions mean more – and create an advantage:

1. Do more that matters.  Define what that is.
2. Examine whether the hardship is tied to important values or a mission.
3. Is your activities wearing you down, or are they creating “tired but rewarding energy.”

Too many activities are a result of distraction, survival, and reaction.  If any of these exist, it’s probably time to find a new path. Embrace repetition, when it is getting you closer where you want to go.

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There’s good and bad about repetition.  The good- is considered intentional and leads to something better or a higher skill.  The bad- means that you’re stuck in a rut, and you feel like action is actually reaction to events outside your direct control.  

In common language, you’re going through the motions.  The results don’t feel that good or gratifying.

Ways to make your actions intentional

1. Clarify your purpose, not someone else’s.  Make your actions mean something to you.

2. Let go of unnecessary emotional baggage.  Often we imprison ourselves with other people’s vision.  Create your own definition for yourself.

3. Address the bad personal habits one by one.  The friction we encounter where we feel we are stuck, may have its origin in how we care for ourselves.

4. Say no. Saying no, means you’re respecting your capacity to be.  Over-extending is compromising your true capabilities.

Finally, learning to ask questions and speak up, can alter the landscape and potentially make your experience better.  There is no rule where you should suffer in silence. Advocate for yourself.



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The Importance of Small Actions

The smallest actions can make the biggest difference. What may seem inconsequential could be the thing that moves another person along to something that is not initially known.

Giving and showing small appreciation for others can be a small private moment that is the tipping point that leads another to something better.

Leading others is a privilege.  Encountering others in our role, lends itself to unknown opportunities.

10 Ways Leaders Move Others Ahead

1. Make every response a strength based moment
2. Make a positive comment even when the feeling is negative 
3. Find and name the qualities that make others valuable
4. Show appreciation rather than enable
5. Point out where actions are falling short, but where there is potential to correct
6. Understand what others’ behavior means, rather than making a quick judgment 
7. Give others a takeaway that holds value
8. Talk about what is expected, participate in the process 
9. Showcase others’ accomplishments 
10. Find ways to serve the people that work for you.

Incorporating these humble actions is good for your leadership, but even better for those you lead.  The idea that you can exercise daily actions that move others forward is an exciting prospect.

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When we look at problems – what do we see? Do we see roadblocks, opportunities, or just what is not working?

The way we think about a problem obscures our ability to see anything else.

At times of difficulty, it is hard to see anything that might remotely work. Our bias is to look for a solution, but the solution is often hard to see, or even put together.  We think that there should be a linear connection between a problem, and its solution.  In our efforts to look for a solution, we fail consider the possible “exceptions” to the problem.  In the exceptions lies the potential path to working through an impasse that we might face.

The Power of Exceptions

An exception can tell us what we were doing when the problem wasn’t happening

“What was happening, or was I doing when the problem wasn’t occurring?  What was I doing differently when the problem wasn’t happening?”

An exception can point the way toward patterns in our environment that offers clues to the solution

“When have I noticed the problem not occurring,  what is happening around me that is different?”

An exception may be hypothetical in nature, and help us arrive at novel ideas toward a solution

“If I was solving this problem right now, what would I be doing or experiencing?”

Using an exception helps you consider alternatives that don’t necessarily surface at first inspection.  By identifying the exceptions to when a problem does not occur, we unlock new possibilities for experimenting with new solutions, ones that are not readily available.  The next time, an impasse is reached, try looking at the exception to the problem.  Reflect on what you find, and enact new alternatives.

Productivity tasks can be a help and a problem.  Lists can be worthless when there is little meaning behind them other than categorizing what needs to be done.  Tasks management is a great word, providing that what we are managing has real meaning.  Over time, the idea of task management means drudgery, if it doesn’t connect with what’s important.

Making Tasks Work For You

There is a lot of ways to make tasks work for you.  Equally, there is a lot of ways that tasks can keep you from moving ahead.  Lists beyond their physical presence in front of you can just lead to feelings of being overwhelmed, not being on target and a sense that you are not making any progress.

Ways to Make Tasks Work:

• Pick at least three of the most important tasks for the day (only three)
• Keep the other tasks on a list, or schedule them on different days
• Keep in mind that certain tasks are going to take more time than others, consider that when you are choosing them.
• The task should have some material importance for you.
• Eliminate other distractions…including new tasks for that day.  
• Look at reassigning other tasks where possible.

Distractions

A common problem is how the impact of distractions play in our ability to further our goals. Other people’s distractions (and our own) can kill momentum toward doing the important things.  Seeing our chosen tasks through is important.  Doing this consistently, will begin to impact how we see ourselves, our effectiveness, and our capacity to eliminate future distractions.

Disclaimer:

There is nothing written that says: “You must get everything done.”  If you have too much on your plate, then it’s time to reassess what you are doing, and reorganize your functions.  Saying no, is a critical element to task completion, because other things don’t suck out the energy to do the important tasks.